In November I found out about the Autoimmune Protocol. The diet calls for consuming basically vegetables, fruits and meat only. It called for me to cease drinking alcohol. I was familiar with radical diet change. I braved one before. But drinking alcohol was a huge part of my life. So with the holidays coming I took a look at my calendar. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, my husband’s birthday….. I scheduled the diet for the end of February. Holidays without drinking? Blasphemy! But a few nights later I looked down at my brandy and I knew I just couldn’t do it anymore. If I knew it was causing real issues that manifested as an autoimmune response, I just couldn’t conscionably do it. I told my husband that I was starting the diet the next day. I hadn’t prepared mentally. I hadn’t bought the foods I needed. But I knew it was time.
And I started the next day. I’m not going to say it’s difficult. It has been quite an eye opening journey to say the least. None of my comforts were there. When night time came it meant watching bad reality television without a drink. Drinking was how I distinguished from working, responsible Brittany to turned off, relaxed Brittany. It was uncomfortable and weird.
Drinking was such an integral part of “me.” I’ve had a pretty constant stream of alcohol running through my body for 16 years. I’ve been drinking at every social occasion since I was 16 years old. I didn’t even know how to socialize without alcohol. No one had fun at parties until they started getting buzzed. I resented people who didn’t love to drink. I remembered when a girlfriend would have a problem and you would go out and talk and cry for hours and hours. Alcohol helped, of course! Getting drunk together was a bonding experience! Anyway, I’m trying to convey in words just how much I enjoyed drinking. My dad drank everyday. My parents never, ever socialized without alcohol. It just didn’t happen. My drinking was a carbon copy of my parents’. And I saw absolutely nothing wrong with it. People have been drinking alcohol for thousands of years. It’s a great pain killer! It’s more natural than pharmaceuticals and synthetic drugs, that’s for sure. People would express concern about my drinking, but I brushed it off, because I knew I didn’t have an actual problem. I just loved it. I wasn’t physically addicted, and I knew that if I wanted to I could just give it up. But it just so happened that I didn’t want to.
So, here’s what I’ve experienced since I gave it up: CLARITY and FOCUS. I immediately started taking action. I came up with ideas and got working on them immediately. I’m inspired. I’m driven. Being the New-Agey girl that I am I’ve often heard that alcohol blocks your chi, but I thought that was absolute nonsense. How can something so fun that makes you feel so good -elated even, block any chi? But I can tell you that it 100% absolutely does. Since giving up drinking my healing has accelerated to light speed. I’ve traded a quick fix to feel amazing for the real deal. I have an authentic sense of well-being and elation at being alive. And other things have awoken in me. Things that are hard to describe in words. I feel connected. Alive. Alcohol was numbing me.
For a good while there I was counting down the days until I could enjoy a drink again. While I was enjoying being alcohol free, and I was experiencing great benefits, I didn’t want to give up drinking fully. I wanted to be one of those awesome people who would have one glass of wine. Just to be social and loosen up a little.
Another thing that sucked about not drinking was not having anywhere to meet friends. I didn’t want to go to bars. Meeting for tea was so lame. A good friend introduced me to a kava bar that serves kava and kratom. Oooooooh. A new sedative! Kava and kratom have mild opiate effects. They’re very relaxing, they give you a sense of euphoria and they lower inhibitions. Besides that, they’re very safe! Both are natural plants. I have a new place where I can meet friends. And this place is amazing. So, yeah, I drink a lot of kratom and a lot of kava. I’m becoming just as obsessed with it as I was with alcohol. But you know what’s happening? I’m losing interest in alcohol. I have a new beverage that I can bring to parties. I’m still drinking while everyone else is. My inhibitions are lowered. I have a nice buzz, too. But I can drive home safely. And I don’t say things that I regret the next day. Being alcohol free at social gatherings is so refreshing. It’s like being in another reality. There have been times when drunken people say things that would have sent me into a dramatic place had I been drinking alcohol. But I’m completely clear-headed. Does that ever feel good. No more regrets! Drunk people look different to me now. Looking at them through not drunken eyes, it’s pretty unappealing, really.
So, 3 1/2 months later, I have to say, I don’t know if I feel so compelled to ever drink again. Now that I’ve really had a good look at it for what it really is, now that I’ve stepped back and really taken a look at it for the first time with 32-year-old eyes, I don’t know if it’s really appealing to me. I always used to resent when people would blame alcohol for their mistakes. People act as if they turn into another person when they drink. And I knew that wasn’t the case with myself! I just loved to push people’s boundaries. I loved to say things that were a little shocking. I loved to let loose. And I didn’t care what people thought of me. But, you know what? I don’t think that drunk person was me, after all. And I wonder about that. Maybe alcohol kind of does turn me and other people into different people.
The body recognizes alcohol as a poison and doesn’t know what to do with it. For 16 years I’ve had a steady stream of poison running through me, and I never even gave my body a chance to recover. Now that I’m doing that I’m really flourishing. My kundalini is rising.