Last summer I decided to change my paradigm from suffering to abundance.
Life just hadn’t been easy for me. There were obstacles everywhere. I was never secure. And I had had enough of that. I had been pushed to my brink, and I decided I just couldn’t live like that anymore. Could it really be true that I was manifesting my own suffering? I had spent years trying to not attract strife. I was so frustrated with the constant problems in my life, and I thought I was really unlucky, or maybe I was dealing with some bad karma, or I was choosing and trusting the wrong people. I would ponder and ponder what I could do differently. Why did I have such bad luck with people? What was wrong with my personality?
Last summer something struck me. I noticed that people who had loving people in their lives would have lots and lots of loving people in their lives. How did that happen? Hadn’t they ever been screwed over by these people? Hmm. Maybe they hadn’t really been screwed over by people. And if they’re then trusting of people, and their attitude is, “I love people, people are helpful, people are loving, I have so many great people in my life”, wouldn’t that attract more kind, helpful, good, loving people? Maybe I had been going about it all wrong all those years, trying to figure out what I was doing wrong, and how I could change my luck in life. What if I just told myself that I had so many amazing people in my life just like those fortunate people must believe? What if I told myself I have abundance?
Well, you know, since I started doing that, I haven’t looked back. I just made the decision that my life was a peace (that was a typo, but I’m going to keep it there.) of cake. I chose gratitude. I don’t have roadblocks everywhere anymore. When I reach a potential hurdle, I recognize it right away and take care of the situation. I don’t wallow in “why me?” and self pity, feeling overwhelmed and scared. I’m so grateful for my life. I see abundance everywhere now.
Life can kick you down. Life can be really, really hard. Or it can be joyful, and you can feel grateful, and you can see beauty everywhere. It’s really your choice. The universe doesn’t conspire against anyone. Our thoughts and our expectations literally manifest our situations. Our energy manifests in our outside world. The universe returns to us what we are. And we experience the world through our own filter that we create.
It seems too easy, doesn’t it? That we can just say to ourselves, “Oh hey, my life is amazing. I attract great things. I have great people around me. I attract such abundance. Everyone loves me”, and that then our lives will be amazing, that we do attract great things, that we do have great people around us, that we do attract abundance, everyone does love us, and suddenly our lives are amazing? But my friends, it really is just. that. simple. (Notice I didn’t say easy. Changing habits takes a lot of will, a lot of practice, and a lot of patience.) When you change your attitude, when you change your expectations, your world transforms.
So what are you gonna do, lie to yourself? Life is hard! You can never pay your bills, people are always betraying you, you’re sick, and you can barely keep your head above water! You’re not going to lie to yourself. You’re going to create a new reality for yourself. We’re born into a world that we didn’t create. We’re born into a monetary class, and we’re born into families that already have problems. We take all that on when we’re born on this planet. For most of us, if our parents are middle class, we stay middle class. That standard of living is the expectation we have for ourselves. Rich kids usually grow up to make about the same amount of money as their parents. Likewise, poverty stricken children usually live in poverty when they’re adults. We have expectations of how the world around us will be based on our experience in life. But are those expectations really yours, or did you just adapt them because that’s all you’ve ever known? There are as many realities and experiences as there are people on the earth. So, if something’s got to change in your life, it’s got to be your expectation first. If you’re currently living in poverty how will you ever become wealthy if you never expect to become wealthy? No, you’re not lying to yourself. You’re creating a new reality for yourself. How do you do it? Our brains sure are stuck on their habits. Did you know that we are literally addicted to our thoughts? Every thought releases certain chemicals in your brain, and you literally become addicted to those chemicals released. Our minds are like wheels, and they’ll just keep going around and around and around on the same wheel until we step in and forcefully break the cycle repetitively. Where that destructive thought is, that thought that doesn’t serve you, the only way to get rid of it is to replace it with a productive one. “I’m so ugly” becomes, “I’m so drop dead gorgeous.” Every. Single. Time. Hell, repeat it to yourself over. and over. and over. and over. All day long. You’ll be surprised how your mood shifts in a very short time. What you’ll be even more surprised at, is that not only is your inner world changing, the world around you is changing! People see you differently. Good things start happening to you. Maybe it doesn’t happen right away. If it doesn’t, that doesn’t mean it’s not working. The world around you isn’t going to suddenly turn into a magical place (Although, it could. You have no idea how powerful you are. No idea.) But, even if it doesn’t, don’t you want your mind to be a peaceful place? (That’s one of my favorite mantras/affirmations right there: “my mind is a peaceful place.”) You see, regardless of what’s going on around you, it’s up to you how you experience it.
Figure out what works for you. Don’t just do what your parents and their parents did before you. Don’t just think how they thought and expect what they expected. If that doesn’t work for you, then you must change it. People are under the false impression that the world around them must change, and then they will find peace. Then they will find happiness. But it is precisely the opposite. Change yourself first, and the world around you will follow. You can not change your reality without changing your expectations. A positive attitude is literally the most important thing in life. Riches won’t bring you happiness without a positive attitude. Love won’t bring you happiness without a positive attitude. Only a positive attitude can bring you happiness in life. And believe it or not, it is possible to have happiness regardless of what’s going on in the world around you. There will be sadness, it’s true. And anger and disappointment. These are emotions that are intrinsic to the human experience. But you can be in control of those emotions. You can watch them come and go, and maintain hope, maintain self love, maintain a positive attitude through it all.
It’s all a matter of perception. You might think your life is dreadful, while someone else would feel so lucky to have your freedom, or have your father, or toilet paper, or food on their table. My friend has a blog called Insane Roots where she writes about her betrayal by her mother. When she was in middle school she found out that her whole life was a lie. Her Mother had been betraying her, stealing, and lying about everything including her name. My friend laughs about it. Imagine where she would be if she didn’t. I imagine she would be a pretty down and out person. She decided to take charge and have a positive attitude and laugh about it. (Hey, she even has a book coming out about it. Is that making lemonade out of lemons, or what?)
Regardless if anyone’s told you or not, you can do anything. Anything. You are very powerful. Take control of your brain. Take control of your life. Realize your power. Get all the good things in this world that are your birthright as a human being.
Louise Hay is the queen of affirmations. If you want to know more about changing your life by changing your beliefs, check out her work.