There’s a very old story that goes something like this:
Humanity is very sick. People will hurt you. People won’t value you and will betray you and hurt you. People are jealous and mean.
I’ve been telling it for so long, it’s hard to tell when I started telling it.
When I was 15 my parents moved me from my home to a very far away place all the way down to the tip of Florida where we hung there in the Gulf of Mexico thousands of miles away from everything normal to me. My attitude about the move was negative to put it mildly. I hated it there, and I fought it with every ounce of my being. The people there were alien: empty, soulless, vapid, materialistic drones who walked around without any depth or meaning. This confused the hell out of me and caused me to be angry and disillusioned.
After I moved away from Florida I was a very curious person, and I wanted to experience it all. I wanted to see what people were like in the real world, away from the cookie cutter city I had been living in. Because I wasn’t aligned with myself I drew in people from all over the board. I drew in every kind of person you could imagine including dangerous people, negative people, and the occasional nice person. In fact, I was notorious among my nice friends for being a magnet to crazy people. No one else I knew ever even encountered the crazy people who were in my life. Was it really bad karma?
My dad would tell me over and over again, “Keep people at arm’s length. You can’t trust people. People are selfish and they will hurt you. The only person you can count on is yourself.” I couldn’t believe anyone could be so cynical. But when people would hurt me I would hear my dad’s story in my ear, and soon that became my story. I was hurt one too many times, and that last time was the last straw.
It became apparent to me that every person I knew would eventually disappoint me, hurt me and betray me.
This was a very sad realization for me, as I’m fascinated by people from all walks of life. I have a very deep love for people, so you can imagine how painful it is to love them so much but also feel a deep distrust and an overall sense of betrayal from humanity as a whole.
I became very cautious about people and mistrusting of my own judgment since I was a magnet to ill people. So I decided that I would have to be alright with my husband and my dog being my only intimate relationships.
I’ve done a lot of healing work over the three years since I made that decision. I’ve associated with beautiful, vibrant high vibration people who are doing the same inner work as me. Still the story repeats: Humanity is very sick. People will hurt you. People won’t value you and will betray you and hurt you. People are jealous and mean.
I’ve been delving deep into the teachings of Abraham Hicks and the Law of Attraction, and I wondered: had I been drawing in low vibration people, dangerous people, negative people because of my own beliefs about the state of humanity? Was I drawing to me the people I was pushing so hard against? Am I repelling the beautiful people who are around me because of this story? According to the law of attraction: ABSOLUTELY!
I hadn’t only silently held this belief about the state of humanity, I made it my duty and my work to warn others and call attention to humanity’s ill state. I felt as though calling everyone’s attention to the sickness will make them snap out of it. Doing this work makes me feel ill. It has a cloud of negativity and sadness about it.
In focusing on what I don’t want in the world, I strengthen it.
To get a very clear visual of what I’ve been drawing into my world, I scroll through my facebook feed and I see predominantly people who are focused on the ills of our society with a smathering of uplifting, positive posts. As I read each post, I pay attention to the way it feels in my body and the emotion it elicits.
Abraham Hicks teaches us not to focus on what we don’t want, but to focus on what we do want. She guides us to use our emotions as a guide to where to focus our attention. Emotions that feel bad are showing us where we don’t want to be putting our energy. When we think about what we do want, we feel positive and we attract what we want to our lives. When we’re focusing on what we don’t want, we’re pulling it toward us.
Since having this realization, I go back into the old story that I’ve told myself, explore, and I see how deep it goes, how many layers it has. It brings up questions like, what is my belief about my own value? What vibrational message have I been sending to people about how to treat me?
So, I’m doing something I should have done 18 years ago. I’m pulling myself up by my bootstraps and changing my story.
My soul wants to uplift people, to celebrate, have fun, and share intimate relationships with people who want to, too.
My new story: People love me. I’m precious to them. They cherish me, nourish me, uplift me. I attract high vibration people. Our vibrations bounce off each other and take us to higher and higher vibrations.
It’s time to stop fighting. It’s time to relax into my natural self and safety and freedom and trusting. My job is to cleanse myself, to vibrate at a high frequency and relax into life so that it can flow. I know that is the natural state of life, and that I’m the one who has been blocking prosperity and has been diverting the flow of life into what I don’t want.
Come see me on medium.com!